the real cosmic joke.

there's something for everyone in this post.

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 21:11:52 GMT

Rules:
-Please comment and let me know what you think!
-Credit is a must.
-No hotlinking.
-No editing.

Icons:
(9) Jorma Taccone
(5) Jay Baruchel
(8) Tropic Thunder
(5) Inglorious Basterds & Cast
(4) Lady Gaga
(3) Lord of the Rings
(4) Robert Downey Jr.
(1) American Psycho
(1) Kristen Bell
(2) Zachary Quinto
(2) Star Trek
(2) Fight Club
(6) Stock

Banners:
(2) Pinto
(2) Underoath

teasers:

jorma taccone/the lonely island/hot rod:

jay baruchel:

tropic thunder:

inglorious basterds & cast:

lady gaga:

lord of the rings:

robert downey jr.:

american psycho, kristen bell, zachary quinto, star trek, fight club:

stock:

banners:
pinto:

underoath:

DOES THIS GO OUT TO EVERYONE'S BLUEBERRY?

Tue, 29 Sep 2009 01:48:47 GMT

all you ontd folks know what's up.
and i'm seriously considering making an entire batch of /just/ blueberry&eli photos.
i aaaalso re-edited a few from previous posts, because i wasn't entirely happy with them.
also included in this post is a wallpaper i made for myself a while ago.
i've never made a wallpaper before i did this one, so please let me know how you feel about it! (:

Rules:
-Please comment and let me know what you think!
-Credit is a must.
-No hotlinking.
-No editing.

Teasers:

wallpaper

more eli roth icons

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 04:13:53 GMT

they're not the greatest, but whatever.

Rules:
-Please comment and let me know what you think!
-Credit is a must.
-No hotlinking.
-No editing.

10 eli roth icons.

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 21:01:30 GMT

Rules:
-Please comment and let me know what you think!
-Credit is a must.
-No hotlinking.
-No editing.

Wed, 29 Jul 2009 05:53:52 GMT

If the right people see this,
they should already know what the purpose is behind the half-face glory.

-Please comment and let me know what you think!
-Credit is a must.
-No hotlinking.
-No editing.

(y)

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 08:23:44 GMT

It seems like I made more icons than this! D:
But all these were made without .psds, believe it or not.
I've become such a whore for those haha.
I am definitely getting really rusty,
and I need to use more textures.
Let me know how I'm doing. (:

Rules:
-Please comment and let me know what you think!
-Credit is a must.
-No hotlinking.
-No editing.

[4] Pinto
[4] Chris Pine
[3] Milo Ventimiglia
[1] Karl Urban
[2] Anton Yelchin
[8] Star Trek XI
[3] Misc. Star Trek: TOS

Teasers:

Wed, 22 Jul 2009 08:32:59 GMT

HOLY CRAP, I haven't updated in a while. D:
I've made so many icons lately that I don't think I can wait any longer to dump them before I have a huge mess on my hands,
but I promise an update by the end of the week! Both here and on my ZQ comm. (:
Stay tuned.
<3

wow, so it's been a while.

Fri, 05 Jun 2009 04:21:27 GMT

And I'm back with a ton of Chris Pine icons,
because he's gooooorgeous, and ilh. <3
So here you are.

Rules:
-Please comment and let me know what you think!
-Credit is a must.
-No hotlinking.
-No editing.

Teasers:

woo, major post.

Sun, 03 May 2009 02:38:50 GMT

so i've made a ton of random icons for no reason.
and i want them on here, so here we go.

[4] Star Trek
[2] Zooey Deschanel
[2] Milo Ventimiglia
[1] Paramore
[2] Disney (Cinderella & Lion King)
[3] Lady Gaga
[2] Forever The Sickest Kids
[8] Stock

Rules:
-Please comment and let me know what you think!
-Credit is a must.
-No hotlinking.
-No editing.

Teasers:

Writer's Block: Strange Conversations

Sun, 19 Apr 2009 22:46:51 GMT

What's the best conversation you've ever had with a stranger—on a bus, in an elevator, at a cafe, etc.?

View 500 Answers

My family and I were shopping in the shoe section at JcPenny's,
and I couldn't find a spot to sit down near them, so I found a few seats down
on the other end and sat there by myself, just staring around at shoes.
This girl came over, who was probably 23, maybe 24 and introduced herself.
She asked what I was doing, and if I was okay. She said that I looked upset
and needed someone to talk to, and I told her my family was being annoying and
that school was really stressing me out. She said that she knew exactly what I
meant and that "it'll all be over before you know it and then you'll be able
to lead your own life." Then my sister walked over and her friend showed up and
she got up to leave and turned back and said,
"Just hang in there. I promise it'll get better."

Swear to god, changed my life.

Writer's Block: GIP (Gratuitous Icon Post)

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 04:01:37 GMT

You finally have an excuse to use it—what userpic do you not get to use very often but can't delete because it's just that awesome?

View 500 Answers

definitely the one off to the right there.
it's peter petrelli, and in Heroes, he appears to be preparing to fall a
great distance and he ends up falling like six inches on his face and it's HILAR.
but i absolutely love this image, and i think i did a nice job with the coloring and
crop and all that jazz. i don't know why i never use it, but i'll probably never
delete it. it'll always be one of my all-time favorites that i've made
and one of my all-time favorite Heroes episodes.

the experiment post.

Fri, 27 Mar 2009 01:48:46 GMT

i call this post the "experiment" post for a reason.
all 12 of these icons were done by hardcore trial and error, and have taken me a long time to do.
that and i got a few new colorings so i went back and re-made a few that i've already done.

-Please comment and let me know what you think!
-Credit is a must.
-No hotlinking.
-No editing.

Teasers:

i'm not after fame and fortune; i'm after you.

Sun, 15 Mar 2009 02:15:12 GMT

10 heroes icons! :D
and if it seems like these are all from season one,
that's because i got the set for my birthday, and haven't
stopped watching it. so i went and found a few caps from my
favorite episodes and made some icons for fun. (:

Please remember the rules!
- Credit is a must.
- No hotlinking, please.
- Comments are awesome.

Teaser:

omg my life.

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 23:00:35 GMT

I love this man, and this show more than a lot of things in my life.
I really don't care how that makes you feel about me.
I just. Really love him/it. So much.
I don't know why I felt the need to rant about it here,
but whatever. You get to deal with my fangirling,
once again. Oh and jsyk, I might start doing
Heroes episode discussion posts here, since I really
have nothing better to do with my time than talk about this show, seriously.

first banners ever, yeah?

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 07:00:41 GMT

they're nothing special, and they kind of suck really badly,
but they're my first attempt at something like this, other than headers,
so i figured i'd just post 'em anyway.
obvs, the overlying theme is heroes, with text on the banners to match. well sort of, but you know.
there's a ZachQ one thrown in there too, but all the others are heroes ones. (:
if on the off chance that one catches your eye,
please credit me if you use them, blah blah, you know the drill.
i'd really love to know what you think, since i this is my first
try at this, even if it's to say they suck haha.
(JUST KIDDING, DON'T SAY THAT PLEASE.)
/spaz

some of them are really grainy/blurry, i know.
i got frustrated with the coloring on some of them,
and then my computer basically died, and photoshop reset
itself, and i lost all my settings and couldn't figure out
how to fix them all again. so i had to improvise on a lot of them.
and i need to learn how to USE A DIFFERENT TEXT. but idk, i think
that fits most of the pictures..maybe it's just me. and now i'm
rambling so i'll shut up now haha. D:

lmfao, this was amusing.

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 03:03:03 GMT

It took me like 20385029384 hours to finish it and get the coding right,
and I swear to god it's going to take up a ton of space on my page.
But yay for chain post things! :D
You can find it

Taken from calidreamin08.

1. Bold the names of guys you'd definitely shag.
2. Italicize the names of guys you might shag after a little persuasion.
3. Leave the guys who don't do anything for you alone.
4. Put a question mark after the guys you've never heard of. ?
5. Strike the guys you wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole.
6. ADD FOUR OF YOUR OWN AT THE END.

NOTE THAT THESE ARE THE FICTIONAL CHARACTERS, NOT THE ACTORS THEMSELVES...
1) Dr. Christian Troy (Nip/Tuck, tv)
2) Mike Delfino (Desperate Housewives, tv)
3) Dr. Gregory House (House M.D., tv)
4) Warrick Brown (CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, tv)
5) Dr. Derek Shepherd (Grey's Anatomy, tv)
6) Anthony (Tony) Dinozzo (NCIS, tv)?
7) Jim Halpert (The Office, tv)
8) James 'Sawyer' Ford (Lost, tv)
9) Danny Taylord (Without a Trace, tv)
10) Derek Morgan (Criminal Minds, tv) ?
11) ~~Noah Bennet (Heroes, tv)~~
12) Michael Scofield (Prison Break, tv)
13) Dr. John 'J.D.' Dorian (Scrubs, tv)
14) Sam Winchester (Supernatural, tv)
15) Chandler Bing (Friends, tv)
16) Jack Bauer (24, tv)
17) Jason Bourne (The Bourne Identity, movie)
18) Westley (The Princess Bride, movie) ?
19) Captain Jack Sparrow (Pirates of the Caribbean, movie)
20) Rusty Ryan (Ocean's 11, movie)
21) Detective Mac Taylor (CSI: NY, tv)
22) Detective Danny Messer (CSI: NY, tv)
23) Sheriff Jack Carter (EUReKA, tv)
24) Dr. Nathan Stark (EUReKA, tv)
25) Jonathan Creek (Jonathan Creek, tv) ?
26) Dr. James Wilson (House, M.D., tv)
27) Mark Corrigan (Peep Show, tv) ?
28) Fitzwilliam Darcy (Pride & Prejudice) ?
29) Jools Sivite (Spooks, tv) ?
30) Captain Jack Harkness (Dr. Who/Torchwood, tv)
31) Danny Ocean (Ocean's 11, movie)
32) Jack Bristow (Alias, tv)?
33) Dr. Owen Harper (Torchwood, tv
34) The Doctor (Doctor Who, tv)
35) Commodore James Norrington (Pirates of the Caribbean, movies)
37) John Winchester (Supernatural, tv)
38) Eric Delko (CSI: Miami, tv)
39) Rick Simon (Simon & Simon, tv)
40) Ardeth Bay (The Mummy, movies)?
42) Gene Hunt (Life on Mars, tv)
43) Dean Winchester (Supernatural, tv)
44) Giles (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, tv)
45) Mick St. John (Moonlight, tv)
46) Mr. Big (Sex and the City, tv)
47) Henry Fitzroy (Blood Ties, tv) ?
48) Tim Riggins (Friday Night Lights, tv)
49) Peter Petrelli (Heroes, tv)
50) Logan Echolls (Veronica Mars, tv)
51) Rodney McKay (Stargate: Atlantis, tv)?
52) Chris Keller (Oz, tv)
53) Mohinder Suresh (Heroes, tv)
54) John Sheppard (Stargate: Atlantis, tv)
55) Dr. Daniel Jackson (Stargate: SG-1, tv
56) Alec McDowell (Dark Angel, tv) ?
57) Spike (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, tv)
58) Priestly (Ten Inch Hero, movie)
59) Jason Teague (Smallville, tv)
60) Angelus (BtVS, Angel, tv)
61) Logan/Wolverine (X-Men, movie)
62) Jess Mariano (Gilmore Girls, tv)
63) Sam Tyler (Life on Mars, tv) ?
64) Harold Saxon/The Master (Doctor Who, tv)
65) Ianto Jones (Torchwood, tv)
66) Steven Hyde (That 70s Show, tv)
67) Cassidy Casablancas (Veronica Mars, tv)
68) Mason (Dead Like Me, tv)?
69) Robbie Turner (Atonement, movie)
70) Derek Reese (Sarah Connor Chronicles, tv)
71) Chris Miles (Skins, tv)?
72) Tony Stonem (Skins, tv)?
73) Dexter Morgan (Dexter, tv)
74) Reed Garrett (CSI: NY, tv) ?
75) Greg Sanders (CSI, tv)
76) Nick Stokes (CSI, tv)?
77) Dick Casablancas (Veronica Mars, tv)
78) Charlie Pace (LOST, tv)
79) Merry Brandybuck (Lord of the Rings, movie, book)
80) Pippin Took (Lord of the Rings, movie, book)
81) Chuck Bass (Gossip Girl, tv)
82) Ryan Atwood (The OC, tv)
83) Charlie Prince (3:10 to Yuma, movie)
84) Brendan Frye (Brick, movie) ?
85) Seeley Booth (Bones, tv)
86) Noah Calhoun (The Notebook, movie)?
87) Scott Valens (Cold Case, tv) ?
88) Nate Archibald (Gossip Girl, tv)
89) ~~Edward Cullen (Twilight, movie, book)~~
90) ~~Emmett Cullen (Twilight, movie, book)~~
91) Louis Connelly (August Rush, movie) ?
92) Alex Karev (Grey's Anatomy, tv)
93) Jake Perry (Sweet Home Alabama, movie)?
94) Tyler Gage (Step Up, movie)
95) Denny Duquette (Grey's Anatomy, tv)
96) Jake Jagielski (One Tree Hill, tv)
97) Dean Forester (Gilmore Girls, tv)
98) Sid Jenkins (Skins, tv) ?
99) Matt Saracen (Friday Night Lights, tv)
100) Cappie (Greek, tv)
101) Doug Ross (ER, tv)
102) Smith Jerrod (SATC, tv) ?
103) Ted Mosby (HIMYM, tv) ?
104) Spike (Notting Hill, movie) ?
105) Robert Chase (House M.D., tv)
106) Jack O'Neill (Stargate: SG-1, tv)
107) Ned "The Pie Maker (Pushing Daisies, tv)
108) Jack Sheppard (Lost, tv)
109) ~~Jasper Hale (Twilight, movie, book)~~
110) Harry Potter (Harry Potter, movie, book)
111) ~~Sirius Black (Harry Potter, movie, book)~~
112) Sweeney Todd (Sweeney Todd, musical, film)
113) Ron Weasley (Harry Potter, movie, book)
114) Ronan Dex (Stargate: Atlantis, tv)?
115) Draco Malfoy (Harry Potter, novel, film)
116) ~~Lucius Malfoy (Harry Potter, novel, film)~~
117) Don Flack (CSI: NY, tv)
118) Bob Brown (The Unit, tv)
119) Don Epps (Numb3rs, tv)
120) Nathan Scott (One Tree Hill, tv)
121) Sayid Jarrah (Lost, tv)
122) Will Turner (Pirates of the Caribbean, movie)
123) Dr. Sheldon Hawkes (CSI:NY, tv)
124) Tim Speedle (CSI: Miami)
125) Andy Bernard (The Office, tv)
126) Stephen Colbert (The Colbert Report, tv)
127) Paulie Bleeker (Juno, movie)
128) Kevin Doyle (27 Dresses, movie) ?
129) Lawrence Kutner (House M.D., tv) ?
130) Colby Granger (Numb3rs, tv)
131) Jayne Cobb (Firefly, tv)?
132) Adam Monroe (Heroes, tv)
133) Julian Sark (Alias, tv)
134) Methos (Highlander, tv)
135) Wesley Wyndam-Pryce (Buffy/Angel, tv)
136) Wash (Firefly, tv)
137) Carson Beckett (Stargate: Atlantis, tv)
138) Cameron Mitchell (Stargate: SG-1, tv)?
139) Daniel Meade (Ugly Betty, tv)
140) Major Lorne (Stargate SG-1/Atlantis, tv)
141) Agent Mulder (The X-Files, tv) ?
142) The Joker (tv, comic books, movie)
143) Sylar (Heroes, tv) YES PLEASE YES PLEEEEEEEEASE
144) Chuck (Stargate: Atlantis, tv)
145) Zack (Bones, tv)
146) Niles Crane (Frasier, tv)
147) Dr. Perry Cox (Scrubs, tv)
148) Gambit (X-men, comics)
148) Captain John Hart (Torchwood, tv)?
150) Lestat d'Lioncourt (Vampire Chronicles, movie/book)?
151) Louis de Pointe du Lac (Vampire Chronicles, movie/book)?
152) Stephen Hart (Primeval, tv) ?
153) Dr. Mark Sloan (Grey's Anatomy, tv)
154) Castiel (Supernatural, tv)
155) Charles Brandon, Duke of Suffolk (The Tudors, tv)
156) Speed Racer (Speed Racer, movie)
157) St. John Allerdyce (X-men, movies) ?
158) Neo (The Matrix, movie)
159) Dorian Grey (The Picture of Dorian Grey, book)
160) John Mitchell (Being Human, tv) ?
161) Simon Tam (Firefly, tv)?
162) William Miller (Almost Famous, movie) ?
163) A.J. Crowley (Good Omens, book)?
164) Samuel T. Anders (Battlestar Galactica, tv)
165) Rex Racer/Racer X (Speed Racer, movie)
166) John Crichton (Farscape, tv)
167) Desmond Hume (Lost, tv)
168) Eric Yorkie (Twilight, movies not book)
169) Barney Stinson (HIMYM, tv)?
170) Kyon (Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, anime) ?
171) Dr Spencer Reid (Criminal Minds, tv) ?
172) Daniel Faraday (Lost, tv)
173) Will Tippin (Alias, tv) ?
174) Alan Shore (Boston Legal, tv) ?
175) Josh Lyman (The West Wing, tv)
176) Artemis Fowl (Artemis Fowl, book)
177) Arthur (Merlin, tv) ?
178) Jamie Crawford (The Demon's Lexicon, book)?
179) Chuck Bartowski (Chuck, tv)
180) Captain Mal Reynolds (Firefly/Serenity, tv, more) ?
181) Tyler Durden (Fight Club, movie)
182) ~~Remus Lupin (Harry Potter, book, NOT THE MOVIE YEESH)~~
183) Ando Masahashi (Heroes, tv)
184) Cooper Freedman (Private Practice, tv)
185) Lincoln Burrows (Prison Break, tv)
186) Seth Cohen (The O.C., tv)
187) Dwight Schrute (The Office, tv)
188) Patrick Bateman (American Psycho, movie)
189) Bruce Wayne (Batman, comics, movie, tv)
190) Hiro Nakamura (Heroes, tv)

i wanna shine on in the hearts of man.

Tue, 24 Feb 2009 23:40:30 GMT

Milo Ventimiglia icons anyone?
Teasers:

-Please comment and let me know what you think!
-Credit is a must.
-No hotlinking.
-No editing.

And while you're at it, check out my brand new Zach Q icons!

join my communities!

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 22:11:48 GMT

I have one for Avenged Sevenfold and one for Zachary Quinto.
All are graphics comms, and tbh, I'd really love to keep them afloat. (:
trashedicons & quintogrfx

24 icons.

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 01:42:54 GMT

So I made a few icons and am just going to dump them here and whore them around LJ because I really have nothing better to do with my time.
Right, that's a lie, I have 72 vocab words to do, a study guide, a paper to write and something else I can't remember at the moment.
BUT OH WELL. THIS IS OBVS MORE IMPORTANT.
There's some Avenged Sevenfold, Shiny Toy Guns, Zachary Quinto, Milo Ventimiglia, and Milla Jovovich. (:

Please remember the rules!
- Credit is a must.
- No hotlinking, please.
- Comments are awesome.

the way you dance, it turns me on.

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 00:55:50 GMT

Last night was AMAZING. I saw Goodnight Sunrise, Between the Trees, MADINA LAKE, and Anberlin.
Madina Lake is one of my all-time favorite bands, and I totally got barrier for their show.
I took a load of pictures, and a lot of them still give me chills. <333333
Like this one.

These are in the band line-up order, so you should be able to tell who's who.
Oh, and I didn't use zoom on most of them, so. (:

you know that i could use somebody.

Tue, 27 Jan 2009 20:04:59 GMT

Right then. So, things are better, kind of.
I dunno, I've been sort of paranoid lately, and I'm not real sure why. :/
And I'm trying to write this story for sci-fi and am failing miserably at trying to put my thoughts into words.
UGH. At least I got to stay home today. It's only Tuesday and I'm already exhausted.
Blech, whatever. :/

time kills hearts.

Sun, 18 Jan 2009 01:25:04 GMT

seriously, just fuck my life. i am so fed up with everything that has been thrown at me over these past couple weeks, and i am just ready to throw in the towel and be done with everything.
my finals all went horribly, so now i have awful grades, my parents have been screaming at me for no reason every chance they get, my friends don't give a shit and now, just fuck. everything has gone so wrong.
yeah, i know things could be worse. and so does my brain because i had a fucking dream about my car catching on fire and then my house burning down after jim carrey and cameron diaz argued about jewelry in my kitchen.
so don't think that i'm just trying to whine, because seriously, i cannot deal with this anymore.
i've tried basically everything, short of meds and therapy and shit like that, to make all this better, but nothing fucking works.
no matter what i do, i just end up disappointing myself and everyone around me.
there are only two people that have actually reached out and helped me and have gone out of their way to make sure i'm alright,
and honestly? that's all i'm asking for. yeah, i guess that would make me an attention whore, but in my eyes, it just makes me lonely.
i've told my two best friends what's going on with me, and they don't really give a shit. they haven't said a word about it to me since i told them.
i just want someone random on the street to notice that i'm off-beat to come up and say, "it'll be alright." and give me a hug of epic proportions.
it'd help me so much.
all i fucking do is try to help my friends with their problems and they all know that when there is something wrong with them, to come to me because I KNOW HOW TO HELP THEM.
but apparently, nobody knows how to help me. i've even told them what would make me feel better and still, they don't give a shit.
what the fuck am i supposed to do? just scream at them for help? uh, no. that would cause a ruckus and everyone would blow things out of proportion.
it is high school, after all.

just, fuck. i want help without having to ask for it. i never thought that it'd be that hard to help someone who needed it.

speak for yourself.

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 22:41:13 GMT

It's been way too long since I last updated this.
Not much has happened, though.
I did get photoshop yesterday, which is exciting. I'm still trying to work out all the kinks, and learn how to do textures and blending and things that are probably really easy but are total mindfucks for me.
And, I have discovered the magical world of slash. I am addicted. I've started writing it, too. It's not that great. I'm just writing what I would like to read, you know? I have one slash, which, naturally, is a Synacky and then I'm in the process of writing a more realistic story, which is a Jimacky.
For the most part, I'm just writing them for my friends to read. And so I can practice writing, since I rarely do anymore.
But oh well. What can you do. |:
Bleh. That's all. If I get some good icons in, I'll post them on my Comm. Later. <3

such a paradox, isn't it?

Mon, 08 Dec 2008 23:43:31 GMT

I HATE DRAMA SO MUCH. Ugh. Now that I have that out of my system, it's been a while, hasn't it! D:
I've been busy christmas shopping and whutnot. I have like no money to buy anyone presents, but i think i might just get a few things for my close friends and then beg my mom for money to get gifts for my family. >_>
christmas annoys me. i hate how you're basically forced into getting people things, and just, no. don't get me wrong; i mean, i love the family time and stuff, but just not the motives behind it. it drives me insane.
anyway. my friend rachel called me on saturday and had me talk to jonathan cook from ftsk! :DDDDDDDD -ded- i was so excited and nervous and i was shaking so badly but we had a nice conversation about his free blackberry and our favorite colors and just akasjdflkjasdlkfj. <3333333
but i had a great day on saturday. i went paintballing with my friends and i have so many welts and i'm all sore and ugh ): but it was so worth it. i had such a good time. i got shot in the face twice. xD and then we went back to her house and i attempted to get all the orange paint out of my hair, which didn't go over well, and then we just sorta hung out and watched the love guru and 30 days of night, which was amazing. TLG was so much better than i thought it would be. but i love mike myers, so i would've loved it even if it sucked, ahaha. 30DON was kind of scary, but it was really really good. i liked it a lot. and then, later on, my friends and i watched this video called the lazer collection 2 on youtube. GO WATCH IT RIGHT NOW. WATCH THE WHOLE THING. I GUARANTEE YOU, YOU WON'T REGRET IT. IT'S FUCKING HILARIOUS. it's like all we talk about now. we're always like, "DOCTOR OCTOGONAPUS BLAHHHHH~" to each other now. xDDDD
it's so great, omfg.

anyway. i guess i should be back in a couple days, maybe. <3

that's just silly.

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 04:12:12 GMT

UGH. SO YOU KNOW HOW I SAID I WAS IN A BAND? WELL, WE LOST OUR DRUMMER. ALREADY. WE HAVEN'T EVEN HAD A PRACTICE YET. fuck. it makes me so angry. we were going to go have practice at his place sometime this week, but nooooooo. someone~ had to go off and quit on us. so now it's just me, kalvin and cody. ugh. i don't know any drummers. at all. well, not any that i'd want in my band. there's this one kid i know, who's the student body president that plays drums, but if he joined, i'd quit. INSTANTLY. i hate him so much. but that's another story for another rant.
anyway. i've been really...i don't know. i don't even know. lately, i just haven't been able to focus on anything. i'm going back into that haze or whatever i get into when i can hear people but it's like i'm not really..listening. almost like i'm watching myself do all my daily things and act all normal and shit, but in my head, it's all asldkjfaslkdjflaksdjf. i'm trying to keep my mind going and just get through until christmas, but i don't know how it'll work out. the only thing that's actually making an impact is avenged. and as much as i love them for doing that, i wish something /else/ would do the same thing for me. maybe like, a boy or something. just SOMETHING.
but whatever. i guess i'll just keep fan-girling over them and wait until some prick at my school decides to actually give me the time of day.
i wish guys were more obvious. i mean, i have a couple of guy friends, but their either, a) in a relationship, or b) they're just my FRIEND. plus, i tried that gig once before. it didn't work out. but i just want someone to hold me. that's all i want. and i could put something even more pathetic than all of this right here, but i don't really feel like spilling my guts to all of you. (or none of you, depending on how many people decide to read/not read this.) no offense.
bleh. this sucks so much. ):